Hi

Yesterday Mom, Bethany, and I went to IHOP. Then we went to visit Horizon's East. I showed them Gracie and we saw Katie, one of the instructors.

So that was pretty cool.

That's all.

Funnyness

Well, this is a weird dream.

I dreamed that Grammy changed her store to sell lightbulbs, men's clothing, and barbecue supplies..... hahahaha.

Um?

Well, something strange happened today.

This morning I was reading Tony Attwood's book about Asperger's. Blair came in and asked me what I was reading. I told him.

Then he said that maybe the only thing wrong with me is that I am extremely egocentric. That I only care about myself and that I can't care about anyone else. He also said that Asperger's Syndrome is the same as Narcissistic Disorder.

So... what? Where did that come from?

I am sick of being told that I am selfish. Grandpa said it, now Blair.

I would be lying if I said I didn't care what they thought about me. In fact, I care very much. They are my family. If they were people I knew at school, then I could probably let it go. But they aren't.

I thought I had them on my side. I thought they liked me. I thought Grandpa liked the things that I did because I tried to do things that he would like. I though Blair liked me because he is always so nice to me. Michael (old therapist) said that he thought that Blair thought I was his favorite person in the household. I guess not.

Anyway, I can't just get over this. This is huge news to me. I never would have guessed this from them. I am shocked.

So.... now I will continue to go about my day and coming days trying to forget this. But it will be hard.

I don't want to tell you guys anything like this ever again. It almost feels like I am making this up so people can feel sorry for me. But believe it or not, I am not making this up.

I have been thinking back to everything that I have done in my life to see if there is any truth to what they said. I have found lots of things that would suggest that. But to say that my lack of confidence around other people and my inability to relate to them is due to my extreme egocentricity, or narcissism, seems completely insane to me. I don't get it.

Whatever. I don't know how I can change their opinions or if I should even bother.

Sigh. Luckily I have riding and Shark Week on the Discovery Channel to keep my mind off things. But maybe I shouldn't do things I like because that would just be playing into my self-centeredness. (Sarcasm).

Yes. I will go watch Myth Busters try and bust the movie Jaws. They proved that a scuba tank can't blow up when shot with a rifle. It just turns into a rocket and would send the shark into outer space! Haha. But sharks can break through a shark cage... yikes.

Bye!

Coming home.

Well, today is my last day in Sonoma. I guess I never really said I was going to Sonoma. I did. Haha.

Anyway, I had a very good time. Yesterday Grammy and I went to the beach, Goat Rock. Then we went to Laurie Drew's house and went to dinner in Santa Rosa. We went with Joyce, Cynthia, and Heather. Everyone was really nice.

I had a roast chicken and french fries. It was really good, though I could have had more chicken and less fries.

Everyone had stories to share about their horse riding experiences. Heather said she was on a horse that was about to go over a jump, but the horse suddenly stopped. She flew off the front of the horse and did a somersault. Haha! I mean, I am sure it was pretty scary at the time. But she can laugh about it now.

So.... I have been reading my Asperger books. They are informative. But the more I read, the more things I find that I don't really have. But they also say it takes on many expressions and it depends on the personality of the person. I definitely have the widespread symptom of social awkwardness. But I feel like I can read people pretty well. The books also say people can learn social skills as they get older. I do tend to copy other people in social situations. And I am very clumsy.

Anyway, that is all. I am coming home in a couple hours.

Oh no!

Well, guess what. I have a new disorder! Yay! Haha.

And.... two more people friended me on Facebook. They each have over two hundred friends!

Seriously. I hope I do have Aspergers because that means that it is not my fault. Yes. I only met one person with Aspergers and she was very rude and annoying. She was at zoo camp. She was very disruptive. The counselor told us not to blame her because she just had this disorder.

So... I am not like that. I guess it takes on many symptoms and ways of expression.

Anyway, I am not unhappy with this news. I think it makes perfect sense. Now I can blame something for all my problems.

I don't know if you remember mom, but one of the girls on America's Next Top Model had Aspergers. She said it was a form of autism.

Autism? I don't know.

On the other hand, there is no cure for this thing. So I don't know how medication can help. You just have to make sure your environment is comfortable. But that can't be the case all the time. You are going to run into situations that are uncomfortable.

Some symptoms I can right now identify with are:

Small focus. Focusing on one thing at a time.; the need to be in control for group activities; social fear; obsessing over things that I have said or done in the past; collecting and organizing things a lot; being most comfortable alone.

So, I guess that is pretty much the definition of Asperger's.

Also, sometimes people with Aspergers say things that are hurtful without really meaning to. Maybe that's why I called that one girl a bitch in my English class and why I once told mom that my problems were all her fault.

And... we think Grandpa may have it too. Maybe that's why he said what he did to me.

...... now I have to read all these books about it. I don't think it changes too many things. Maybe it will just give me some new strategies.

I feel like I am on Mystery Diagnosis. People have all these symptoms but no one can tell them what is causing them. Until finally they find out.

That is all. Grammy says I should go to an Aspergers specialist to see if they can tell me for sure whether I have it or not.

Bye!

300th post

Hey!

I went to my fourth lesson today.

Heather wasn't there, so Katie was my instructor. She is really nice.

I didn't ride Gracie because I think she was in a lesson right before mine. So I rode Carmen.

Well... Carmen is a lot different than Gracie. Haha. We went to the outside arena and she wanted to go in all kinds of directions. I just wanted her to go in a circle. Haha. But she had a very nice easy trot. I liked her. Even though she was really hard to steer. We went in smircles, as Heather likes to say.

Anyway, we also went swimming yesterday. That was fun. We are going again in a few minutes. I told them I am only gonna sit on the raft and do nothing. Heh.

So... that's that. Bye!

Gureisu

I just went to Borders and bought a couple Japanese workbooks. Mom and I want to study together. Yes.

That is all. Pretty much.

PS. I miss Sea Ranch. Boo. Haha.

Bored, etc.

Well, I just got through organizing all my clothes in my closet. It looks like the mall. Haha. I organized everything by color. Heh.

And Veronica put red highlights in my hair yesterday. It looks very cool.

We plan on going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and Marine World later this summer. I love going to those places. It should be fun.

So.... that is all. We are going to go swimming today. Even though it won't be too hot.

And yes, the New Yorker cover will just feed the fire started by lunatic right wingers who want people to think that Obama is Muslim (and a terrorist apparently). Grandma and Grandpa don't like him because they think he has "Muslim blood." Haha.

Also yes, we will have the largest group for Thanksgiving ever in the history of our family. I think. Yes. It is historic.

Anyway, that's what's going on. I hope you have a good day/night! Above is a picture of Rafael Nadal.

Hey!

Hey, well everyone is up now because Blair is going back to work. Yes.

And... mom made an appointment with the doctor for me to get birth control. Yippee. No exam required though, that's good.

I am getting my hair done today at 2:00 with Veronica. Then we are going swimming in our little pool. I haven't gone yet, but Bethany and mom have.

So... nothing new. Nope. Nothing. Sorry.

Anyway, I hope you all are having a good summer. I can't WAIT until Jolleymo and Maki-san and Paul-chan come for Thanksgiving!!! Yay! Grandma and Grandpa from Tucson are coming too. So I don't know how we will all fit around the dinner table. Haha. We will need several "kids tables".

Also, my birthday is coming. We will have a big huge ginormous party! Just kidding. Just a little party like usual. I told mom not to get me any clothes or gift certificates to clothing stores. Haha. I have SO MANY clothes it's not even funny. You know that I like any kind of gifts, weird or cool or totally boring. I like everything!

That is all for today. I will see you soon!

What???

Ok... you guys will not believe this.

Remember Kenzie? From middle school.

Well, she just friended me on Facebook. OMG. Seriously.

I also noticed that she is out now. As gay, I mean. That's not surprising. I always knew.

Anyway.... I still can't believe this. It's been four years since I saw her. Amazing.

So... I friended her back.

!!!!!?????!!!

Oh yeah, and she's going to UC San Diego next year. b****. haha. !!

Bored

Well, my lesson went very, very well yesterday. I was much better than last week. Haha. Heather and I worked on my steering. I was holding the reins too loosely and Gracie wasn't getting the message. But I got it now. That's all we did. Heather set up an obstacle course for me to steer around. It was fun!

Heather said she was really tired from the two hour birthday party that ended right before I got there.

Anyway, I am not doing too much right now. Yes.

So.... that is all. Above is a picture of Rafael Nadal and Venus Williams at the Wimbledon Champions' Ball.

Early bird

Hey, welcome home everyone!!

Well, it is 12:13 and everyone is still in bed. I went to the mall and Togo's and the gas station while they were asleep.

I have been going to IHOP and the mall and the grocery store while everyone is in bed. Haha!!!

Anyway...... I am looking at my calendar and it is Battle of the Boyne Day on Monday in northern Ireland.

So nothing new going on. I am going riding tomorrow at 2:30. Yes.

Bye!

Um...

Well..... I am starving. Literally.

Yesterday I had cereal, Spaghetttios, and two glasses of juice. That's it. I am sick of frozen food. I haven't had a real meal in so long.

So I am going to IHOP in an hour while everyone is asleep so I can actually eat something nutritious. Like eggs.

Anyway, I was really sad yesterday when mom wasn't home to watch the men's final with me. :(
It was so exciting. It lasted FOUR AND A HALF hours plus two rain delays.

That's all. Hopefully you are having a good time. Yes.

Tennis

Hey did you watch the men's final??? OMG.

It was the longest match in Wimbledon history. John McEnroe said it was the best match he had EVER seen. The fifth set ended 9-7.

It was so so so close.

That's all I will say about it. :)

Hey

Well, I am back from my second riding lesson. I am exhausted. Haha.

I really need to be in better shape. I need to get better muscles.

It was fun!

Bye!

Oh yeah, I rode Gracie again.

Tennis

Hey, here are some more Wimbledon updates.

Venus won the final 7-5, 6-4.

It will be Nadal and Federer tomorrow in the final.

Tennis

Hey, here are some Wimbledon updates:

It will be a Williams/Williams final tomorrow. I hope Venus wins.

Men's quarterfinals: Federer, Safin, Sheuttler, Nadal win.

Men's semifinals: Nadal wins. I am still waiting for the Federer/Safin match.

So.... that is all.

Helloooooo!

I have to write loudly because you guys are waaaay on the other side of the planet. Haha. I am glad you arrived safely and I hope you are feeling well. :).

Well, I am doing pretty good as the Mom so far.

It is now 1:00 pm and I am the only one up. I have watched two tennis matches and I went to the grocery store. I bought some lunches and milk, ketchup, etc.

Anyway, I have to figure out how to use the dishwasher and laundry machine.... heh. Haha.

So... I went to my dermatologist and she told me more about Accutane. Jeez.

I have to go to the gynecologist and get on birth control. It is required. But I know birth control has a lot of benefits. It reduces your periods for one thing. And it also fights acne and stress. So that's ok.

Then.... I have to get some blood work. I will have to get blood drawn every month while I am on Accutane. ..... I HATE doing that. Gah.

Also, it has a side effect of making your skin dry. All over. Dr. Lee said I will need to carry moisturizer along with me all the time. Ugh. It also makes you a little achy in your muscles.

If you get a really, really bad headache, you are supposed to go to the emergency room..... scary.

So.... it sounds like a bummer, but really it could totally change my life too. So I will deal with all that other stuff.

And.... my second riding lesson is on Saturday. I will be with Heather again. I like her. Yay!

That is all. Please send me e-mails or comments and tell me how you are doing, ok? Ok. See ya!

Fly away

Well, Mom is at the airport right now. That means..... I have to be the mom of the house. Yes. Good practice.

The fair was pretty fun yesterday. I ended up going on a bunch of rides. It was very cool out as well. I had pizza, pepsi, and funnel cake.

Anyway, I hope you all have a good flight and a great time in Japan!!!!!! Drink lots of water.

So... now I am going to continue watching Wimbledon. Bye!